The Original Laundry List
These are characteristics we seem to
have in common due to being brought up in an alcoholic household.
A. We became isolated and afraid of other people and authority
figures.
B. We became approval seekers and lost our own identities in the
process.
C. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
D. We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another
compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fill our sick abandonment
needs.
E. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by
that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
F. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier
for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. This enables
us not to look too closely at our own faults.
G. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of
giving in to others.
H. We become addicted to excitement.
I. We confuse love with pity and tend to 'love' people who we can
'pity' and 'rescue'.
J. We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and
have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts
so much (denial).
K. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of
self-esteem.
L. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment
and will do anything to hold onto a relationship in order not to
experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living
with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
M. Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and
took on the characteristics of the disease even though we did not pick
up the drink.
N. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
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